Thursday, December 02, 2004

I was in a sour mood yesterday and I don't know exactly why. The worst part of getting mad at someone is the time right before you make things right. At first, you're just so angry, you don't really care about what's going on. I usually go to my room and find something to take my mind off of whatever conflict occurred. Then all the sudden I start having second thoughts. Then I feel worse, about it. Then I start feeling the depression that always comes when I'm mad at someone without good cause. I usually realize how trivial it is. Then I start anticipating the apology. I almost start downstairs, but then I hesitate, and then I put it off for a few more minutes. Finally I apologize and it feels so much better! But those moments before can be so nerve wracking. It's so worth it though. I don't know about you all, but I just get so bogged down if I know someone is upset with me, or I'm upset with someone else. It is so heavy to carry around. Best thing to do has ALWAYS been apologize!!!

I'm going to have some cosmetic surgery done. Well, ok, it falls short of surgery. I'm just getting a chip in my tooth fixed. Our insurance will pay for it, so I figured why not. It's the result of a skateboard accident when I was 9 or 10, when I was less timid. HA! lol. I used to skateboard, believe it or not, along with BMXing and wearing baggy pants (the girls' version; they stay up). Yuck! Well, I don't mind BMXing in particular, it's quite fun. I'd still do it if I had a bike. Skateboarding is ok I suppose, but it seems more like a fad, especially for me. I can just imagine what I looked like. I remember seeing a picture of me with almost black nailpolish on, it looked so unlike what I thought was me. I guess it was because it really wasn't me.

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