Sunday, January 23, 2005
I will post a journal entry from a few days ago....
Somewhere - New Jersey
On the road there is much quiet. Not necessarily a physical quiet, but a mental quiet. Beyond the noise of the bus, and the noise of everyone around, there is time for contemplation. I can’t think of a much better place to think than my bunk. The cars provide an ongoing drone, punctuated by voices in the bus. At this moment, Dad is driving the bus, Peter is on his bunk, which is at my feet, elevated a bit higher than my bunk, Vincent is sitting on his bunk reading, Nathan just crawled into his bunk which is directly below mine, and the rest of the family is up front, either getting ready for the day or sitting in one of the front seats. Or perhaps sprawled on one of the front bunks.
Things feel like they’re changing. For one thing, I‘ve noticed that there is a wall between myself and the people I know [online] who are not Christians. However even more troubling are the people who claim to be Christians, and don’t seem to be so at all. It aggravates me, but I’m reminded of my own futility in my life. I saw some people acting foolish, in what may have or may not have been a harmless way, and I felt that I ought to reprimand them, ought to tell them how ridiculous they looked. But I thought back on myself and my own actions. I knew I was guilty - if something as harmless as being immature can be a fault of which one can feel guilty of - of the same actions, yet at the time I felt no urge to act my age, I felt no beckoning to leave such things behind and grow up. And yet at this moment, there are people of all levels of maturity; is it fair for me to criticize such things, if I could be deemed the same by those superior to me? It is not sin I am talking about, of course in that area we should follow the Bible, but this still is a fleshly thing I struggle with, and I think it might be called arrogance. If I would look down on someone because they are lower than me, while not realizing that I am lower than others in the same manner, doesn’t that make me an arrogant fool? And if I do not realize that I am lower than others, then I am falling into the deadly trap of pride, which can blind anyone. If I realize I am lower, but still persist in claiming I am higher than some, then I am putting myself into a position of pride by saying “I am my own judge.” I don’t know exactly what the answer to all this is, but I know that I really need to work on it. In Proverbs it says that “God hates pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech”. It is so easy to become neglectful of the first two, while having no [outward] problems with the second two. We are so proud we have overcome the latter, we forget to follow the first ones and become proud idiots. Why do we become so proud? Because we forget of the sacrifice Christ made for us. We forget the blood He
shed, we forget how undeserving we are of forgiveness.
Somewhere - Virginia
We just went over the Chesapeake Bay bridge. It was the third time I can remember crossing it, I even remembered what the pilings looked like! The weather has been teens and twenties during the trip up to now; it’s 44 degrees. The windows are REALLY covered with salt, we got caught in a snowstorm in DE. As for the concert we did yesterday in DE, it went great. I was amazed at how big the place is. It’s called Modern Maturity, it has all sorts of functions for older people, but it’s not a nursing home. More like a club. They have a pool. A dance hall (HUGE!!) and a ton of other things, including a stage for us to perform on :D We sang for about 400 people there that were eating lunch; the activities director said that was a slow day! It was a great concert to kick off the tour with.
I keep thinking I’m going to get stomach cancer or something, from resting the laptop on it while I’m lying on my bunk. Lol.
Today and tomorrow we travel, Saturday we have to be in FL for a concert. I was thinking that I miss being online, but I think it’s good to have a break once in a while. Makes me appreciate it more J Today will be the first ‘real’ day (or at least it should be) meaning I will get back to the things I really need to do but have been neglecting; trumpet practice and Spanish. Yesterday I read part of a book called Flight From Stonewycke, it’s the kind of book I can read all the way through without checking how many pages I’ve read. I’ve been reading rather boring books lately, this I really enjoyed reading. Too bad there are only 3 books in the series.
There are two things on my ‘get home’ list already, and I am sooo looking forward to them. First off I will go looking for the peat pots in the barn; the flowers will almost be ready to start! Last year was the first year to start them indoors, and I had a 6’x2’ space on my desk filled with pots. Some flowers start really easily and grow well for me, bachelor buttons (cornflowers) and marigolds. The zinnia come next on the list, although they’re pretty easy to grow as well. The pansies did not do well at all. Neither did a few of the other varieties, and in some cases none of them came up at all. I will experiment again and take more detailed notes. Last year I kept a notebook on which did the best, how long they took to germinate, and I tried to keep track of how long it took from start to flowering, but I lost track after I transplanted them outside.
The second thing I’m planning to do is build a dollhouse! It might sound sort of silly, but it’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was 8 or 9, and I tried so hard to make them out of whatever materials I had; cardboard, paper, and scraps of wood. When I was 11, I was working with power tools at my grandfather’s house and I managed to make some furniture, however crude the pieces were. My short lived career ended when that same day, I used a tool called a jointer and tore up my thumb in it. Many weeks, stitches, and a surgery later, my thumb was healed, but it still has a nasty scar on it, presumably one that won’t fade very much. I’ve learned to be a little more respectful with power tools, and since I’ve done a little work with the family on the carpentry on the bus, I think I might be able to handle enough tools to get a basic dollhouse built. I’m intrigued with the whole idea, from actually cutting the structure pieces to furnishing it after I‘ve wallpapered it. I’ve made a few accessories (books, food, pictures in frames, that sort of thing) and sold a lot of them at the craft fair. I used to read books on how to make dollhouses and go absolutely crazy because I had nothing more than cardboard to work with. I would make mess after mess, trying to make the cardboard act like ¼ ply. Usually when the plans said enlarge by x amount, I wouldn’t enlarge it but just work on it super small.
The sun is shining in my bunk but it’s cloudy outside, it’s more of a diffused light. The trees are going by and they make those blinking shadows. I think I’m going to work on the foreword to this while I’m on the road rather than writing it after I get home. I’m debating whether to post it bit by bit, posting as much as I’ve written once I get to some inet access.