Friday, January 06, 2006

Wow...it's amazing how much you realize your own weakness when you try to run. Our bodies are really more vulnerable than we think. We have cars that drive us far, planes that fly us fast, and a multitude of helps around the house that make living easier. We imagine ourselves invulnerable, able to go anywhere and do anything. Running is so humbling! We're fools if we run a few miles and say "aha, I've made it. I'm a strong human," and forget God. We're fools if we can discover a cure for some disease, and say "Look, we're smart, we know how to cure this." And we're fools if we make a false God, and worship ourselves and our own standards and say 'Ha, we created reality, we don't need God." The biggest things I'm struggling with now are music, running, and memorizing. I can't create music, I can only appreciate what God has already made. I can't improvise beyond what God has created in me. I can't invent notes, or scales, I can only discover. I can't run further than God has made my muscles to go; I may break the boundaries I've made for myself, but not the ones God has made. I will never be able to memorize more than God has made me able to memorize. He created the very brain cells I'm using to memorize something He wrote. And if I succeed in completing my goals, and have not honored God with what I've done, then I have failed.

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