The Blog of Bonnie J.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

What a week. I keep coming to the computer with way too many thoughts to process. First of all, I can't believe (and maybe I lack faith!) how God has blessed us. It's just incredible to think that not only has God given us salvation, he's given us so much more. I started crying at one of our concerts (which I don't think I do very often, it's so easy to distract myself with the technical aspects of doing a concert to avoid doing so) and it was out of great joy in realizing what I've been given. I have parents that seek after God, I have seven wonderful siblings, I have been homeschooled and kept from many ungodly things (and have been kept through many ungodly choices I've made), and moreover, somehow (and I'm not sure how this works) I've come to a saving knowlege of Jesus Christ. Now I'm not trying to start a debate on 'freewill' vs. 'predestined,' and I don't have all of that figured out to a T, but I'm willing to say that however God has worked in my heart, I'm very grateful for it. I'm so thankful that however God has done it, I find him working in my life. And while I can't change anyone's heart, I pray that somehow I'll be an encouragement to someone to seek after God. I've met so many people on this trip who have done just that; they've made me want the properties of Christ displayed in their lives to be manifested in my own life. And there's just no comparing this with any other aspect of life. There truly is nothing like the love of God. There's no alternative that will satisfy. And I'll have lows again, I know, but the love of God is not based on earthly physical things that will pass away. That's what's so comforting and so satisfying.

One thing I've been dealing with is comparing myself to other people. If you compare yourself to find that you're better than most, brace yourself. When you make a habit out of that you'll find yourself very much at the bottom ranks. Sometimes I find myself thinking what would I do if I had only been given the opportunities of JoeShmo? What if I had to live with that shortcoming? What if I had been giving that trial? While you may need to prepare for difficulties ahead, it isn't very wise to justify or condem yourself in comparison to another human. Mr. Myers said a few days ago how the only person you could compare yourself to is Jesus Christ, and then what a humbling thing that is. Instead of getting bent out of proportion to reality, you see things in a true perspective.

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These pictures are an edit to the post, but I didn't want the post up top to bump down yet.

I woke up this morning with a stiff neck (pulled muscle maybe? It hurt to lift my head off of my pillow.) so I didn't go to work with my dad and brothers. So I was in the bus with Carol's laptop...