Saturday, January 06, 2007

I've been trying to blog but our connection hasn't been working correctly, and for a while wouldn't load the blogger page.

I was going to blog a few days ago and wrote up a post. Then my connection stopped loading pages. I try to always push ctrl + c often during the time I'm writing so I won't lose any of it. This time I was talking with a friend online and I had just push ctrl + c to copy a link. When I pushed ctrl + v to recover my post into a new window, I just got a url. So the post is gone, I guess there's no sense in making a big issue out of it. (nope. No sense at all).

So moving on to another aspect of the lost post, it was probably a good thing I lost it. It was something I had to write out so I would see it better on paper, but it just wasn't a very encouraging thing to post. So here, in counter to the negative thoughts (and truly negative, not just "helpful" negatives, like realizing you've messed up, or something like that) is a little viewpoint.

We're always saying "I finally saw things in perspective," and it is very true that oftentimes we don't see things in perspective and change to see "in perspective". But God is God, we are man, we've sinned against God, and God has given us mercy through the blood of Jesus Christ. That's ultimate perspective, I believe. If we really truly understood how horrible our sin was, I don't think we'd forget it. I don't think we are able to truly understand how deep the love of God is, partially because we don't understand how bad our sin is. I started a book yesterday called My Three Years in Russia, by Comrade X. I intended to read only a chapter last night, but the chapters were so short that one lead to another, and by the time the night was over I had finished the whole thing. It was written anonymously ("as told to Ken Anderson") and was published in 1958. It tells the story of a German soldier who was in Hitler's army, and not only that but was also a Christian. He gave himself up in Berlin somewhere around 1944, from what I gather. It describes his 3 year prison camp stay in Siberia. It seems that what he experienced in Siberia was not unlike what many Russian citizens went through. The government, according to him, would take citizens they considered sub par and send them to Siberia to work in camps. I wondered if this wouldn't often include Christians who the communists didn't like.

Then the thought struck me, that at this moment, there are Christians living where people are trying to take their lives. There are children who have been murdered, and mothers to weep over them. People are being tortured for Christ. People are suffering. And I lament over the fact that I don't have enough time in the day to do what I "need" to do, or because I'm having trouble working out something on my guitar. I read a few hundred paged novel, but only have time for a chapter or two of God's word. How lame is that?

The other thought that struck me as I read of Comrade X's single Bible - that he had been miraculously allowed to keep through his years in the prisons (at one point he refused better food and shelter, by denying to deny the Word of God, then got sent to a punishment camp for it, but they let him keep it) - is what does it take to make us truly hunger for God's word? Is it really pleasing to God when we open our Bible just because it's there and we feel we ought to? Even if we're not just reading to fill a quota, how deep does is our hunger? Do we cry out in brokenness of heart, or do we just pray because God is there and we have a relationship with him? Do we weep over the horribleness of what sin has done? Do we get down on our knees and beg God for salvation to come to those we are acquainted with? Do we feel pain for our brothers and sisters in Christ who are being persecuted?

Emotions don't make up sincerity, but sincerity will almost surely lead to emotions. If you love someone deeply, you don't discount your love just because you feel the emotions that accompany that love. Paul said in Romans he was in anguish over the plight of the Jews. If you cry out to God with a terrible flood of tears, you cannot discount the earnestness of your prayer only on the grounds that it's accompanied by emotions.

If we in America lived under conditions that would not allow us such freedom and luxury as we have, how much deeper would our relationship with God be? If you were in danger of physical harm for the sake of your relationship with God, or experiencing physical harm for his sake, how would you live differently? If your scripture amounted to a few pages passed around from family to family, how would your heart hunger for the very words of God on those pages?

How many of you actually read this entire post? It's not important that you read the words I've written, but I think it's important that you ask yourself those question.

Blogger doesn't seem to accept the post having indentions in it, so I spaced it out with empty lines.


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